Normal Post: Victory!

Aha! A while back, I apologised to anyone I may have misled over the origins of the Walls Twister ice cream, explaining that I had always maintained that it had been devised by a girl on a Jim'll Fix It jolly. Guess what? I was right! I'm not mental! It was devised by some girl! While I'm obviously happy that my state of mind has been temporarily shored up once again, I can't help but feel sorry for the Twister's (presumably fully grown) creator, who probobly isn't receiving anything for handing Walls the delicious profit laden coding her brain so cruely generated. That she provided an incredible iced-service for mankind can only be of cold (ho!) comfort.

I aware that none of this constitutes having achieved something, by the way.

Normal Post: International Federation of Shapes

Long, long ago, I worked in a small museum that sort of bled a lot of money (just by virtue of it's very existence, not as a result of anything I ever did, because I don't think I ever did anything). Happily, it's still up and running, but that's not the point. One afternoon, I received a letter from a group calling themselves the Ice Cream Alliance, effectively trying to sell the museum iced goods cabinets and such like. I would've felt threatened if their logo hadn't had so much primary coloured jaunt to it.

I still wonder what prompted such an alliance in the first place. 'Alliance' suggests that they were trying to fend off some greater, darker foe. The internet? the transient nature of things? Huddled together in the dark, those ice cream conglomorates, what did they see when they looked beyond the vale of tasty temporary gratifaction and into the dark abyss of the future? New flavours? No flavour at all?

Incidently, I often tell people that the Walls Twister ice cream was made by someone on Jim'll Fix It and, after it proved popular with consumers, was rolled out nationwide, to be consumed en masse even to this day. I looked it up on wikipedia just there and there isn't any basis in fact for that story. To everyone I ever lied to about Walls Twister, I am so sorry. Now all I have to do is figure out where that story I was telling even came from...